Last week, my husband and I celebrated 10 years of being together. Ten years seems like such a long time, but I can honestly say that it’s flown by and it almost seems like we met yesterday. Although our relationship isn’t perfect by any means, I’ve enjoyed our time together and I look forward to growing old with my best friend by my side. He is the sun in my sky and I am so fortunate to have him in my life.
As we celebrate this milestone together, it made me reflect on the things that I believe made our relationship work so well. I’m no relationship expert by any means and every couple will be different, however I do believe that relationships shouldn’t be that hard. While hard, conscious work is involved, the relationship itself shouldn’t be that much hard work. Here are 10 things that I’d like to share that got us through our 10 years together, and hopefully another 10 years to come!
Celebrating 10 Years as a Couple
1. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I hate arguing in general but arguments over petty things are even worse! When we first moved in together, we used to have lots of small arguments over really mundane things like who did the dishes last. In the big scheme of things it didn’t really matter and a good question to ask yourself is, will it matter in 2, 3, 4 years time? If not, then it’s not worth your time!
2. Don’t go to bed angry. This is an oldie but a goodie. In the 10 years that we’ve been together, I can only remember 1 time when we went to bed angry. I woke up uncertain about where we stood with one another but was relieved when we quickly made up the next morning. I don’t like being angry or upset at my husband and see no point with dragging out a fight. If it’s not resolved quickly, we always work on making amends before going to bed.
3. Be grateful for each other. I feel very fortunate to have my husband in my life and I know that it wouldn’t be as bright, fun or interesting without him. For that, I am grateful and try to consciously infuse that in every interaction we have with one another.
4. Have fun together! Relationships don’t have to be serious all the time. My husband and I enjoy date nights out together, trying out new activities like skateboarding (!) or exploring new places. At home, you’ll probably find us on the couch talking and laughing with one another. We have plenty of inside jokes and quirky things that we like to do as a couple, which makes our relationship both interesting and fun!
5. Support each other. While you may not necessarily agree with one another all the time, it’s important to support and have each other’s back. Throughout the course of your relationship you may meet people who, for one reason or another, try to drive a wedge between yourselves or look forward to seeing your relationship fail. Don’t let them. As my husband and I say, “It’s us against the world!”.
6. Make sure to get some alone time. As close as we are, my husband and I always make sure to schedule in “me time” for ourselves. It’s a time for us to decompress, spend time doing what we want to do and recharge. Although I love spending time and hanging out with my husband, I also need time apart to do my own thing. It certainly doesn’t mean that I love him any less, in fact it brings me closer to him. As they say, “Absence makes the heart grow fonder”.
7. Have your own hobbies and interests. While my husband and I share mutual interests, we also have our own separate hobbies and interests. My husband loves tinkering around with remote control cars whereas I love to play with paper. Being in a relationship doesn’t mean that you stop doing what you loved doing previously. If anything, it’s even more important that you hold onto it.
8. Don’t forget your friends! In the past, I’ve spent all of my time with ex-boyfriends and completely neglected my friends. Fortunately most of my friends understood but understandably, I lost a few friends along the way as well. While it’s natural to want to spend as much time as possible with that special person in your life, it’s also important to realise that your friends are also important. Spending time with your friends, with and without your significant other, is important to having a healthy relationship.
9. Communicate. It’s important to continuously talk and check in with one another to make sure that you’re both heading in the right direction together. When I first met my husband, we were still in uni and figuring out what we were going to do. We weren’t quite sure who we were yet or what we wanted to do with our lives. At times I wasn’t sure if we were going in the same direction but throughout it all we talked and made time for important conversations. My husband and I have always been honest and upfront with each other, and I definitely believe this is one of the key reasons why we’re still together today.
10. Know who you are. Last but not least, know who you are and don’t settle for less. Throughout your relationship you’ll need to compromise from time to time, or make tough decisions. However, you won’t be able to do this properly if you don’t have a sense of who you are and what you stand for. To have a healthy relationship, it’s important to take time to get to know yourself and be comfortable in your own company.
Happy 10 years, my sweet husband of mine and here’s to (at least) another 10!
Marie xo